Strong communication skills are no longer optional. Whether you are leading a team, growing a business, networking, or strengthening personal relationships, your ability to connect with others determines your success. The good news is that communication is not a talent reserved for a lucky few. It is a skill you can build.
Drawing inspiration from Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg and Talk by Alison Wood Brooks, this article explores practical, research-backed techniques that can immediately boost your communication skills. These strategies are actionable, human-centered, and designed for real-life conversations. If you would like to dive deeper into soft skills improvement with me as your coach, please book a coaching session here.
One of the most powerful insights from Supercommunicators is that not all conversations are the same. Most discussions fall into three categories:
Communication often breaks down because people are having different types of conversations at the same time.
Imagine a manager telling an employee, “Your performance numbers are down. Let’s fix this.” The manager believes it is a practical conversation about metrics. The employee, however, feels criticized and hears an emotional message about their worth.
A better approach would be to acknowledge both layers. The manager might say:
“I want to talk about the numbers, but I also want to understand how you’re feeling about your workload.”
This simple shift aligns the conversation types and reduces defensiveness.
Before speaking, ask yourself: What kind of conversation is this?
If emotions are involved, name them. If identity is involved, respect it.
When you match the conversation type, people feel understood rather than attacked.
Great communicators ask better questions. Surface-level questions keep conversations shallow. Deep questions unlock connection.
Instead of asking:
“How was your weekend?”
Try:
“What was the highlight of your weekend?”
The second question invites storytelling.
Research shows that people who ask follow-up questions are rated as more likable and intelligent. The reason is simple. Follow-up questions show genuine curiosity.
Consider a networking event. Person A talks mostly about themselves. Person B asks thoughtful follow-up questions like:
“What inspired you to start that project?”
Weeks later, people remember Person B more positively.
Curiosity builds warmth. Warmth builds trust.
Small adjustments create meaningful impact.
Looping is a powerful communication technique that involves three steps:
This method dramatically reduces misunderstandings.
A couple argues about household responsibilities. Instead of reacting defensively, one partner says:
“What I hear you saying is that you feel overwhelmed when I work late and do not help with dinner. Is that right?”
The other partner feels heard. The emotional intensity drops. Now they can move toward solutions.
Looping works in boardrooms, classrooms, and living rooms. It slows down conflict and signals respect.
Public speaking anxiety and difficult conversations trigger stress. Instead of trying to calm down, reframe anxiety as excitement.
Telling yourself:
“I am excited.”
Rather than:
“I am nervous.”
This mental shift helps your body interpret adrenaline positively.
Before presenting to senior leadership, you feel your heart racing. Instead of fighting the feeling, you say internally:
“This energy means I care. I am ready.”
This simple reframe can significantly improve performance.
When your goal shifts from self-protection to contribution, confidence rises naturally.
Facts inform, but stories persuade.
Storytelling activates multiple areas of the brain. Stories create shared experience, which builds connection.
A leader wants employees to adopt a new strategy. Instead of presenting only data charts, she tells the story of a customer who struggled under the old system and thrived after a small change.
The team now understands not just what needs to change, but why it matters.
Stories humanize information. They make communication memorable.
Keep it authentic. Even everyday experiences can inspire.
People communicate openly when they feel safe. High-performing teams often share one trait: psychological safety.
In effective teams, leaders model vulnerability. A manager might say:
“I may be wrong about this strategy. I would love your input.”
This invitation reduces hierarchy barriers. Team members are more likely to contribute ideas.
Psychological safety leads to innovation, problem solving, and stronger relationships.
Communication flourishes in safe spaces.
Many conflicts are not about facts. They are about identity. When conversations threaten how someone sees themselves, resistance increases.
If you tell a colleague who values independence exactly how to do their job, they may resist even if your advice is correct.
A better approach:
“You are someone who takes initiative. That is why I think you will improve this process even further.”
When communication honors identity, cooperation improves.
Perfect wording matters less than genuine intention. Small conversational mistakes rarely destroy relationships. Lack of attention does.
You do not need flawless grammar. You need presence.
These simple behaviors signal respect.
A parent distractedly nods while scrolling through emails as their child talks about school. The child feels ignored.
The next day, the parent puts the phone away, kneels to eye level, and asks:
“What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
The difference is not linguistic skill. It is attention.
Presence transforms ordinary conversations into meaningful ones.
Improving your communication skills is not about memorizing techniques. It is about developing awareness.
Small, consistent changes compound over time.
When you approach conversations with curiosity, empathy, and intention, you become the kind of person others trust, remember, and want to work with.
Start today. One conversation at a time.
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